Monday, February 13, 2012


So, remember how I said that an ambassador from the Wooden Girl was here (god, it feels like Star Wars. THE AMBASSADOR IS A JEDI KNIGHT).

Um, anyways.

Yeah. One of the other Apostles (Jennifer), who happened to be in town, showed up with an audio recorder. So, the following is a transcript from the recording, which has been set up suspiciously like a chat recording but is, in fact, not. Also, lots of audible silences will be seen. With awesome sound effects written by yours truly.

*shuffling noises*

Jennifer: Is this on? I think it is.
Paradoxical Machinations: Yeah, look, the equalizer is going. Goodness.
J: Shut up and get on with it.
PM: *muttered* yes ma’am. *louder* SO! Why are you here today, Miss…?
Ambassador: Call me Maple.
PM: Fine, Ms. Maple. What can I do for you today?
M:  *giggles*
J: Please. Scare tactics? You do realize none of those work for us.
M: Whatever you say, Jenni. Now, to business. Doesn’t this war seem a bit silly, to you? Really, fighting over this little city. Who needs it?
PM: Apparently you do. Why?
M: Nothing of importance. My Mistress wants it as a plaything, nothing more.
PM: Yeah, I’m sure. Why this city?
M: Why any city, Mr. Alex?
PM: You tell me.
PM: Go on.
M: My Mistress wants this city for certain people inside of it.
J: And we give a fuck… why?
M: She is willing to stop the… little tussle we’ve been having, in exchange for the giving up of this city.
PM: Considering that you were LOSING, I don’t see the point. My city. GTFO.
M: Are you sure that we were losing? We can bolster the ranks whenever we feel like, after all. Taking control of others is no problem.
J: My Master has control over all the dead, Maple. There’s more dead people than living. Do the math.
M: Are you sure? This could be your final chance.
J: Yeah. We’re sure.
M: Very well.
*Sound of chairs being pushed back*
PM: Wait, look out!
*sound of flesh hitting floor*
*rapid gunshots*
*footsteps receding into distance*
PM: You alright?
J: Yeah.
PM: Thank God she shot fast. She could have gotten us.
J: Well, she didn’t. *inhales shakily* I’m going to go. We’re not giving up the Master’s city, so I expect things are going to pick up a bit. I’ll stick around to lend a hand for a bit.
PM: Thanks. I best start preparing as well. Who knows what’s going to sneak in during the chaos…
*recorder switched off*

So, if you didn’t gather, we told Maple no, she attempted to kill us, missed, and now I think it’s going to get a little more exciting around here…

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